You were born a genius.
You were born to be abundant.
As a baby, you came into this world expecting to have your every want and need taken care of.
And yet, somewhere along the way, you were programmed to believe the opposite by your well-meaning parents with mantras like:
Then there is the role modelling of your parents, like:
In “3 Types of B.S. Blocking Your Financial Success“, we discussed the ‘DON’T’ rules your parents taught you to keep you safe. Right up there with those fear-based rules were fear-based beliefs around money.
They came by it honestly.
After all, their well-meaning parents did the same and so on and so on….
We have all been hard-wired for pessimism and fear because it was essential for survival since caveman times.
In fact, research on mice has now shown that fear responses can be inherited, possibly through epigenetics or modification of gene expression. This inherited fear is present whether or not the offspring have contact with their parents.
When you add in your verbal programming and role modelling, it’s no wonder you’ve had challenges bucking the current of negativity and fear!
The safety-conscious rules and beliefs in your programming have created all kinds of roadblocks and blind spots to block you from attaining the wealth and success you desire.
Fear contradicts the belief that you can attain your financial goals.
As we stated in “3 Types of B.S. Blocking Your Financial Success” you must believe in your capability to attain a goal before you can see the best financial strategies to reach it. It all starts with belief. Lack of belief is the biggest roadblock to reaching your wealth vision.
Before you create your wealth and finance vision, you must therefore make the choice to change your fear programming deliberately. And in order to do so, you need to be courageous and uncover your fears and beliefs. They form the bulk of your patterns and limiting B.S. around money.
The bad news is that you have some kind of negative or fear-based programming around finances and wealth…. Guaranteed.
The good news is that you have the ability to change your programming.
Read on for 5 proven ways to either release old programming or write over it with a positive abundant mindset and operating system.
1. Awareness of Your Money Fears is 80% of the battle.
Since we already delved into your limiting beliefs in “3 Types of B.S. Blocking Your Financial Success” let’s target your limiting fears.
Examples of Money Fears:
If you have any money fears, you’re not alone.
I stood in a check-out line recently, chatting with a well-dressed lady in front of me about the party she was hosting, and the food and wine she was buying for it. As we got closer to the cashier, however, I noticed that she started to fidget more and more. Her talking trailed off as she gripped her card tighter.
When it was her turn to check out, she kept glancing at the amount ringing up. Her hands almost shook as she slid her card into the reader.
Her sigh of relief was palpable as the charge cleared her account, and she swiftly exited the store.
I felt for this lady tremendously.
And of interest to me were the fears and patterns she exhibited. She was likely afraid of being humiliated at the cashier if she didn’t have the funds in her account. And yet, she was also dressed in expensive-looking clothes and buying non-essentials for a party.
Perhaps, she was even more afraid of yet another fear… that of being ostracized from her chosen community.
According to Dr. Karl Albrecht, there are really only 5 main fears we experience: death, physical disability, loss of autonomy or control, abandonment, and ego-death (fear of humiliation or shame, not feeling lovable, capable or worthy).
In primitive times, being ostracized from your community was a likely death sentence because it was almost impossible to survive on your own.
In that lady’s programming then, it might be better to endure the possible humiliation at the cash register than not fit in with her chosen group.
2. Start with Why.
“He who has a Why to live can bear almost any How.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
Knowing your Why is just as important, if not more so, than knowing your vision — your wealth and finance GPS destination.
As Nietzsche stated so eloquently, your Why can pull you through life’s roller coaster ride and challenges. Your Why also provides the power to barrel through your fear blind spots.
Think of anything you really wanted and were likely afraid to do: walk, ride a bicycle, or drive. What kept you going despite the fear?
Even as a baby, you wanted freedom to move and explore on your own. As a child, your freedom and autonomy increased as you rode away on your bicycle because you could go so much further and faster.
As a teenager, you desperately wanted yet more freedom and autonomy from your parents, and you envisioned it coming in the form of driving.
In each case, your Why was that you wanted freedom and autonomy.
What is your Why — your purpose — surrounding wealth and financial success?
3. Utilize Your Abilities to Your Greatest Benefit.
Rod Hairston has identified 5 “Abilities” that are important for growth and success: Accountability, Responsibility, Capability, Flexibility, and Vulnerability.
a. You are Accountable to yourself and others to be the best you can be in this life. To believe otherwise is to short change yourself and the world.
One of the fears you may have is ironically the fear of actually succeeding because loved ones might resent and abandon you. Of course, you have also been taught to play small by your family, culture and even religions, perhaps as a survival mechanism.
In primitive times, it was best to keep your head down and out of the line of fire. And to do otherwise was to court death through injury or because the group’s leader would take it as a challenge to their authority.
Solution: You no longer live in those primitive times and it is time for you to step up and be the best you can be.
b. Even though you may not have caused every experience in your life, you are Responsible for how you respond to those experiences and use them to achieve your vision.
If you believe you have been a Victim of your life and circumstances, you can’t change what has happened in the past and you certainly can change your perception of it.
You must CHOOSE to take back your ability to respond from here on in.
Solution: You can choose to be traumatized and victimized, or you can view the experience as a learning and growth experience that has honed you into the person you want to be. You must CHOOSE to take that first step toward your vision.
c. You are a born genius. You have infinite Capability in creating the wealth you desire. Be like the honey badger who KNOWS it will be successful against all odds.
d. Flexibility is also key in attaining your wealth goals.
All too often, you want to jump straight to whatever financial strategies and tips have worked for others. In fact, there are thousands of courses to teach you HOW to create wealth. And yet, they don’t work for the vast majority.
If you haven’t taken care of all the B.S. (limiting belief systems and blind spots, that is), no strategy is going to work.
Solution: Show Flexibility, knowing you don’t know what you don’t know, and that you don’t need to know right now. Trust that everything is working out for you in the best way possible, so long as it’s outside your comfort zone, it’s good for you and the world, and it requires you to be flexible and grow.
e. Vulnerability is being ready to release the person you used to be, along with all of the patterns which no longer serve you, so that you can become the wealthy abundant person you want to be.
Vulnerability is when you are willing to take that first step toward your vision, knowing that you need to change. Understand that it’s necessary to release old patterns, fears and beliefs. Your old patterns will not want to die, and they’re going to do their best to hang on.
It’s okay to admit that you need help in releasing your patterns, and it’s smart to accept that help. That’s why social support is so important in weight loss. The same holds true for your wealth.
4. Become aware of how your fears and ingrained negativity show up in your self-sabotage patterns.
Every time you start a new experience, whether it is starting a new job or setting high financial goals, your unconscious mind (which is hard-wired for negativity and the need for certainty) is going to give you push-back… the bigger the proposed change, the bigger the push-back.
Your unconscious mind uses 7 primary self-sabotage patterns to derail your efforts to change and grow. Because your fears are housed in your primitive unconscious mind, they make perfect fodder for self-sabotage.
How are your fears showing up?
a) The Victim blames others and outside circumstances for their troubles. This takes away their ability to respond to and change the situation.
For example, you might blame your financial troubles on a spouse who is a spendthrift or a boss who ‘refuses’ to give you a raise.
Solution: take back control by taking Responsibility for your reactions to experiences and how you perceive the experiences as negative or positive. (see 2b.)
b) The Rut Dweller just quits when the going gets tough. They are overwhelmed by everything they need to accomplish.
For example, you know that completing paperwork and paying bills is essential to success and yet you get to the end of the day without having done even the bare minimum.
Solution: Know that inch by inch, everything’s a cinch. Chunk all of your goals down to bite-sized actions, and just take on one at a time.
c) The Success Seeker is looking for the secret pill of wealth and success.
For example, you may take all kinds of courses on HOW to become wealthy as you look for the magic bullet to success.
Solution: Know that you have everything you need within you right now. And the most important is your mindset and belief that you are capable of attaining your wealth goals.
d) The Pretender is hiding behind a virtual mask because they feel that no one would love or respect them if they showed their true nature.
For instance, you may be pretending that you have your life together when, in fact, you are struggling to keep up with life and work. Even if you are successful, you may feel like a fraud and that at any moment, you will be found out and humiliated.
Solution: You need to love yourself more and forgive yourself for not being perfect. Understand that no one is perfect. No one.
Then give others the love and appreciation you want for yourself. Contribute in some way without others knowing it has come from you.
Anonymous giving and helping is the best way to raise your self-love and self-esteem because it makes you feel good about yourself, not because you care about others’ opinions of you.
e) The Certainty Seeker needs a guarantee of success before starting anything because they are so focused on their fears.
For example, you will only take a job if you are guaranteed that you will be there permanently, with benefits and retirement package.
Solution: Understand that there is no certainty in this world other than your own capabilities. (see 3c.)
All success lies in stepping outside your comfort zone because your old identity and fear patterns live there. Take the leap!
f) The Escapist hides his head in the sand, refusing to face reality. He knows he needs to take action to be successful and yet hides in unimportant activities or daydreaming like in “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty“.
For example, you may not pick up the mail due to your fear of receiving bills.
Solution: Know that life is about jumping into the unknown. That is where all potential and success lies.
If you’ve had “failures” in the past, know those are just learning experiences that have positioned you for the magnified rebound of your success.
g) The Stressed Achiever will stop at nothing to achieve their goals, believing that the ends justify the means. They don’t enjoy the journey and they certainly don’t enjoy their reward when they get to the end.
For example, you believe that if you just have that better car or house then you’ll be happy. But then you get those and realize you’re still not happy. You feel you need to work ever harder and move higher, chasing that illusive reward.
Solution: Enjoy the journey because there is no there. Life is about happily achieving rather than achieving to be happy. Have fun… laugh!
Understand that everyone goes through these patterns, and that it is okay. I personally have experienced multiple patterns at once! The key is that, when you are prepared for them, they are less likely to derail you for long before you’re able to hop back on track.
5. Develop the Ultimate Emotional and Performance State to Support Your Wealth Vision.
We are emotional creatures, and we’ve been hard-wired for millennia to focus on our fears and negativity. It’s time to change that through your focus, self-talk and body language.
a. Focus: In “Not Reaching your Wealth Goals? Quit Focusing on Your B.S“, we discussed the 4 Laws of Focus: what you focus on you find, grows, becomes your perceived reality, and ultimately your identity.
Up until now, your unconscious mind has been using your imagination and fears to keep you safe…and unsuccessful.
Solution: Turn the table on your unconscious mind. Engage your imagination and focus for the benefit of your financial success.
b. Positive self-talk: your communication with yourself is usually extremely negative and critical as your unconscious mind keeps up a running monologue of all the things you’ve done wrong, failed at or just can’t do.
Solution: Counteract the barrage with positive self-talk.
+ Positive affirmations, starting with “I am” are so powerful because they are informing your unconscious mind that what you’re affirming is your identity. It goes back to belief in yourself and your ability to achieve your financial vision.
+ Because the symptoms of anxiety and excitement are the same, you can also use positive self-talk to reframe your feelings when you are in fear-triggering situations.
+ For instance, I have felt like public speaking was a fate worse than death and have even had anxiety attacks before going on stage. Now, I tell myself, “I am so excited!” as I prepare for my talks.
+ Focus your imagination on others who have attained what you want. Since they did it, you can too!
+ Finally, you can use positive self-talk to reframe your past negative experiences. Tell yourself how grateful you are for the experience and everything you have learned. After all, our worst experiences can be our best teachers.
c. Body Language: Your body language communicates as much to yourself as to others. If you slouch over with your head down, you’re going to feel low and unsure. If you carry yourself tall and straight, you are telling yourself you are worthy and confident of success.
Soldiers are taught that posture to quickly give them that confident identity.
Be patient and forgiving with yourself as you release years… millennia even… of negative, fear-based conditioning.
Enjoy the journey of being and becoming your wealth vision.
Please post comments below, letting us know which exercises you found most impactful!